


And So, I'll Take My Leave

by CandiLucky419



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Also i saw a prompt and i just had to, But no one dies, I love torturing my characters, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Oneshot, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 02:12:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9636314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandiLucky419/pseuds/CandiLucky419
Summary: Inspired by the line: "Tonight, I think I'll disappear."In which Lance doesn't feel needed, and in a bout of depression, decides to leave in one way or another.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 2,055 words of klangst, for lack of a better word. Anyway, I hope you love having your heart tortured. Sorry. Read on.
> 
> Also: feel free to listen to Hear Me by Imagine Dragons. I listened to it while writing this and a couple lyrics kind of helped to shape the plot a little.

"Lance! Watch out---behind you!" Pidge called out, diving in with their lion and destroying the Galra ship that was just seconds away from seriously hurting Lance and his lion.

"Pay attention everyone, we can't afford to have our minds elsewhere right now," Shiro reminded in a gruff voice as he shot at the multiple ships that were slowly surrounding him. "Lets form Voltron, guys."

The lions all shot up into the air roaring, and shifted together, forming Voltron.

They worked together to defeat the Galra ships that had randomly ambushed them, as usual. The paladins were so close to fending them off completely and pushing them to retreat---until Lance messed up, his reaction time just barely too slow, slightly messing up their strategy.

"Lance! Focus," Keith grunted as Voltron took a hit to the upper-right chest. "Shiro already told us once, how many times do you need to hear it to get it through your thick skull?"

Lance huffed. "Shut your quiznack, Keith. I am focused. I just ... messed up. Sorry, everyone."

"It's okay, Lance," Shiro reassured. "Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

_**§§§§§§§** _

Walking into the castle's control room, everyone congratulated each other.

"Good job, paladins," Allura smiled. "It got a little shaky at the end, but you all pulled through and made it work. Yet another success for Voltron. But just because we were able to push them back this time, doesn't mean we won't have to do it again. After talking, I want all of you to go and train."

Coran furrowed his eyebrows. "Where's Lance? Did any of you see him walking back from the hangars?"

"I thought I did, he must have gone to his room. He seemed pretty tired," Hunk recalled.

"Actually," Keith chimed in, "I don't think I saw him leave his hangar at all. Mine is closest to his, and I'm sure I would have seen him leaving. He usually leaves at the same time as us."

Shiro nodded his head, taking in the information. "Maybe someone should go check on him. Hunk, you're closest to him, I think you should go and see if he's okay."

_**§§§§§§§** _

Lance sat in his lion for a couple of doboshes, thinking over the mini battle he and the other paladins had just returned from.

 _Dammit. I got distracted that first time. I need to not worry about my family when I'm out there. I can't put the others at risk, and I can't be an extra thing to protect. I should probably thank Pidge for saving my sorry ass._ He put his head in his hands and slowly lifted his head back up, sighing as his fingers trailed down his face. _And then, even when I wasn't distracted, I messed up. We were in Voltron, for Pete's sake._

He gulped, upset at himself for allowing that slip-up to happen. _My attention may have been on the battle, but I clearly wasn't functioning fast enough to react in time and prevent the blow._

"Lance?" A voice shook him out of his thoughts.

He got out of his lion to see Hunk looking at him with a concerned expression on his face.

"Are you okay?"

Quickly forcing his lips into a smile, Lance replied: "Of course I am, buddy. Why wouldn't I be?"

Hunks eyebrows drew together. "You didn't meet us all in the control room to discuss strategies. Y'know, like we usually do?"

"Right! Yeah, uh. How could I forget?" Lance chuckled, then faked a yawn. "Sorry, I'm just a little tired."

"I guess the Galra did attack in the middle of the night," Hunk rationalized. "It makes sense that you're tired. I'm surprised I'm not tired! Actually, I'm a little hungry ... "

Lance grinned softly at his best friend. "Of course you are. Anyway, tell the others I'm heading back to bed. I'm too tired to talk. Night, Hunk." He yawned again, this time for real.

**_§§§§§§§_ **

Once in his room, Lance slumped back onto his bed, head against the wall, feet dangling off the edge, and groaned.

_I'm a mess._

He felt like crying. He missed his family, was a burden to the other paladins of Voltron, and was hopelessly in love---with his self-proclaimed enemy.

Lance fell asleep scolding himself, tears prickling at his eyes.

When Shiro came by to check on him in his room, Lance was snoring lightly, still in his clothes and laying sideways on his bed. Shiro moved him into a better position to sleep, but didn't try to change Lance, deciding that would most likely end up with Lance waking up, confused out of his sleepy mind.

**_§§§§§§§_ **

When Lance woke up, Allura, Coran, and the other paladins were still asleep.

He slipped into his hangar, wanting to talk to his lion.

"Blue?" Lance said, softly petting her metal nose. "What do I do? I can't do anything right." 

Not getting a response, he sighed. "Of course. You must be sleeping. Who am I to disrupt your rest? Sorry for trying to wake you. I'll ... I'll see you later, Blue."

On his way back to his room, he started thinking.

_Maybe I should just leave._

These weren't new thoughts. He had thought them before, but never acted on them.

As he allowed the thoughts to fester and plans develop, he walked by Keith's room. Coincidentally, Keith's door opened, revealing a a very tired, and very confused Keith.

"What are you doing awake?" He asked.

"Uh, I just ... I couldn't sleep," Lance replied.

Keith stared judgingly at him for a moment. "We both know that's a lie."

Lance sighed, closing his eyes and not saying anything else.

"Are you okay, Lance?" Keith asked, surprising Lance.

In a tired tone, Lance said: "Why do you even care?"

"You've been acting ... strangely lately. Zoning out more during battles, spending more time alone, talking less ... We need to be in top condition if we're going to defeat the Galra."

Keith's deductions hit him hard. Had he really been acting so differently? He didn't think he was, but an outsiders perspective was often much different from an inside one.

You think you're pretending well enough, but then someone comes along, worried, and then everything is in shambles. You thought you had been doing so great on the outside. You thought everyone thought you were happy. And suddenly, you're wrong. If you're wrong about that, what else are you wrong about?

Lance grimaced. "Have I really been that obvious?"

"Everyone's worried."

"About Voltron, maybe," Lance retorted, his voice and face both laced with bitterness.

Keith flinched. "What are you saying? We're worried about you."

"Yeah, because I'm just dragging you all down!" Lance huffed, "I'm just a seventh wheel, and you know it."

Keith struggled for words, confused. "Where is all this coming from? You're the blue paladin, we need you. You're not a 'seventh wheel' or whatever. We wouldn't even be here, we wouldn't be saving the universe without you!"

Lance was silent for a dobosh, wanting to scream and shout about how wrong Keith was, about how he wasn't needed. About how, yeah, he dragged them into the responsibility of saving the universe, and how that alone has hurt them all immensely. Instead, he took his time to breathe and calm down. He didn't need the others to wake up.

"I'm leaving," he said, finally, not looking Keith in the eye.

"Okay. We can talk about this later, then," Keith suggested.

"No, I'm ... I'm _leaving_. As in, I won't be here to talk about it." Lance looked at Keith to increase emphasis.

Keith frowned, upset, a deep crease forming on his forehead. "No, _no_ \---you aren't. I'll make sure we lock all the escape pods. You're not leaving, Lance."

Lance chuckled humorlessly. "I'm leaving one way or another."

" _One_ _way or anoth_ \---" Keith cut himself off, confused at first. Then, he got it. "Lance! No. I won't let you. We need you---I need you."

"Like I asked earlier, why do you even care? Don't you hate me?"

"Why would I hate you? Just because we bicker a lot and I get on you about things doesn't mean I hate you." Keith paused. "Actually, I thought _you_ hated _me_."

"Me? Hate you?" It was Lance's turn to be confused now. "How could I ever hate you? I'm just ... jealous, I guess. That's the only reason I pick fights with you. ... Well, that, and---nevermind. It doesn't matter."

"And what? Of course it matters," Keith urged.

"No, it doesn't." Lance shook his head. His heartbeat picked up fast. He had almost told Keith that he had been trying to cover up and avoid his feelings for him by fighting with him.

"Come here," Keith requested, opening his arms a little, showing he wanted a hug.

"Uh," Lance hesitated, his heartbeat becoming faster.

"Fine." Keith stepped forward and hugged Lance tightly.

Lance felt Keith's body shake and heard his quivering breath as he slowly wrapped his arms around Keith's torso.

"Are you---Are you _crying_?" He asked.

"N-no." The break in Keith's voice gave him away. That, and the fact that he started shaking harder and started sniffling.

"I can't---I can't lose you." Keith spoke up a few ticks later.

"Yes, you can. I'm ... I don't matter." Thus seemed to make Keith cry harder.

"Yes you do! You matter to me!" Keith took a deep breath, "I love you, Lance. You matter. I love you."

Lance froze, a tear finally trickling down his cheek. "You're just saying that. Why are you so desperate to get me to stay?" He tried to unwrap Keith's arms from around him, failing as Keith tightened his grip and whimpered.

"I'm saying it because it's true. And I've lost too many people close to me, I'm not letting you leave, not after I've finally excepted my feelings for you. You're not---" Keith took another deep breath, trying to steady his voice. "You're not leaving me. I won't let you."

Lance loosened in Keith's hug, sighing, tired of putting up a fight. "Fine. Fine, I won't leave. At least not right now." He wrapped his arms back around Keith, accepting defeat.

Keith had convinced him to stay. For a little while longer, at least. And how could he turn down a confession of love from the person he had been pining after for years? Even if Keith was lying, it was nice to believe someone loved you

**_§§§§§§§_ **

Waking up to Shiro shaking his shoulder, he tried to sit up. Failing, he realized there was an arm wrapped around his waist that tightened when he tried to move. 

It was Keith's arm. He was in Keith's room. And Keith, who was refusing to wake up, had a distraught look on his face, as if he was having a bad dream.

Then, he remembered their conversation, and how they had both eventually tired out and fell back asleep, Keith not letting Lance go back to his own room.

"Lance, are you okay?" Shiro's voice shook him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He offered a small, lopsided smile.

"Why are you in Keith's room?" Shiro asked.

Lance's smile fell. "Long story."

Shiro weighed the words in his head. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Maybe later. I'm not really ... up to it right now."

Respecting his wishes, Shiro left, after telling Lance to wake Keith and tell him that breakfast was being served in 10 doboshes.

"Keith," Lance ran a hand through Keith's hair, trying to gently wake him.

Keith grumbled.

"Wake up, it's almost time for breakfast."

"I don't care," he mumbled, tightening his arm around lance yet again and leaning into Lance's chest.

"I care, I'm hungry," Lance smiled and laughed softly.

"Fine." Keith removed his arm and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he yawned.

**_§§§§§§§_ **

"Hey, Keith," Lance started as they walked out of Keith's room to the dining room.

"Yeah?" Keith answered, raising an eyebrow. "If this is about last night, we can talk about it. Food can wait, or we can talk about it after we're done eating."

"We can talk about it after we're done eating." Lance smiled. "That's not what I was going to say, though."

"Oh? What were you going to say?"

He grabbed Keith's hand and his smile grew. "I love you, too, Keith."

**Author's Note:**

> I realize Keith seems a little out of character, but I feel like it also kind of fits him? He's generally really stoic on the outside, but inside he's really emotional, and so him not breaking down until Lance can't see him kind of plays into that.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it!


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